You Know You're In Wellington When ...

Two posts in one day. I came across this in the Mount Victoria Rotary Club bulletin for 14 September. I have been meaning to put it up because I think it is really funny. I hope that you can still find it funny even if you have never been in Wellington, and trust me, it is funnier when you live here.

You know you're in Wellington when:

• you can wake up during an earthquake and think that it's just the wind that's shaking your house.
• you can say, "Wellington is full of ferries" and not be considered homophobic.
• you can recognize half the city's population when walking down the street.
• you can afford a $1000 suit but still flat in a house that requires three sets of clothing and two dehumidifiers to stay warm.
• you see someone traveling 100kph on the motorway and you complain how fast people travel these days.
• you walk from the Railway Station to Willis Street without ever checking for traffic.
• "Just turn left at the first Star Mart [think Golden Gallon or other convienence store], walk down the street till you get to the third Star Mart, turn right, go 3 Star Marts up, and you're there."
• seeing the Brooklyn Wind Turbine not turning is a newsworthy event.
• it takes you 20 minutes to drive around the block in peak traffic due to the 'one way system.'
• boarding a Stagecoach bus is a hazardous activity.
• you take a bodyguard down Courtenay Place in case you bump into a drunk politician.
• the centre line is negotiable, especially on the Brooklyn and Hataitai hills where parked cars can take up 80% of the road.
• you get altitude sickness going from your car to your front door.
• you have to leave the city to do your shopping.
• any wind that doesn't threaten to take your roof off is just a 'bit of breeze.'
• you can detect 27 different shades of black suit.
• when an earthquake hits, instead of hiding under your desk, you hold a bet with your workmates on the force, focus, and epicentre.
• when giving directions to tourists, you point up.
• you go out for your $5 coffee with friends and complain about how expensive Auckland is.